This Is How A Heart Breaks
by goldendaffodils
Summary: Turn 25 Spoilers. It is weird how she always used to think of Zero, and now the only thought her brain can manage to cling to is that of Lelouch.


This Is How A Heart Breaks

_Written by: goldendaffodils_

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-&-

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To Kallen, he is already dead.

But it is the worst feeling ever to helplessly watch that long and ugly sword pierce through his chest so effortlessly. Like his soft skin is giving into the sharp edge, welcoming it with open arms that are not there. And just for a swift, short-lived moment, Kallen can see the pure horror and the burning pain reflect itself in Lelouch's swimming eyes.

He gasps for air. Zero waits, but then violently pulls the bloody sword out of the limp body. And Kallen feels as though she was the one he plunged it into, as she watches the boy she never understood gracefully fall to the ground with a soft thud.

(It hurts more than it is supposed to do.)

(Because he smiled before it happened.)

It is weird how she always used to think of Zero, and now the only thought her brain can manage to cling to is that of Lelouch.

To finally be able to see them as one and the same, instead of two separate individuals trapped in one body, is that what it feels like to truly cherish him?

Her cowardly heart clenches at the thought. And she never tears her eyes away from the boy who is dying in the arms of his broken sister.

(The blindfold before her eyes is gone.)

In his last moments, she is inwardly screaming at the top of her lungs to say those words she should have said but never did, the ones which stubbornly lay at the tip of her tongue every time he looked into her eyes and found all sorts of wild, swirling emotions. But she dares not utter them aloud. She is deadly afraid that the quivering voice of hers would not be able to make the beautiful feeling he has created within her justice. And he deserves nothing less than the absolute truth, of which he now will never get because she is incapable of giving it to him.

So she continues to stare at him in silence.

And she quietly begs of him not to close his eyes, which are ever-so slowly disappearing beneath pale eyelids and a set of remarkably heavy eyelashes, because that would be the end. She knows he is tired. She can tell from the defeated expression that rests upon his face. But it truly does sadden her that she will never be able to see that brilliant shade of startling violet ever again. And despite knowing the inevitable, she panics.

"_LELOUCH! OH GOD, LELOUCH!_"

Her mind screams.

While everyone else surrounding her chants:

"_Zero! Zero! Zero!_"

The fact that she could easily be cheering along with them, disgusts her.

And she is glad that she has at least figured it out.

Even though she is far too late.

Even now, when she can see how the murky red stains the white of his royal robes, almost turning the whiteness black. It is almost funny how the never-ending stream of blood manages to weaken the seemingly stark contrast between their outfits that was so ridiculously apparent only a few minutes ago. He was white, she was black—like opposing colors of a chessboard—and still, he turns darker and darker by the second.

It is darkest around his heart, around the fatal wound that was given to him by his other self, while the white only frames the outline of his proud figure. And perhaps that tells Kallen more about the boy she is undeniably going to lose than what she would like to realize at a time like this. Because even though, she has been fooled and left behind, she should have known better than to suspect something as simple as a world consistent of only black and white, friend and enemy, good and evil. Especially, when Lelouch is so much more and has so little left, while she knows that this will not be her end, even though the metal cage around her throat is slowly closing in on her, making it harder to breathe.

"_I'm suffocating!_" She thinks, as salty tears threaten to spill from the corners of her sea-blue eyes.

And as Nunnally's hysterical sobs and sore cries are fading out.

(Just like the beat of his heart.)

Kallen begins to cry.

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A/N: Wow. It probably couldn't get any cheesier than this. Oh, well. xD

Disclaimer: Code Geass is the property of Sunrise.


End file.
